Mom·ver·sa·tion [mom-ver-sey-shuhn]
1. mad interchange of thoughts, information, etc., by spoken words; oral communication between my mother and me; talk; colloquy.
2. an instance of this
3. the ability to talk crazy with your daughter

“If I die … “

“You mean when you die. We all die at some point Mum.”

“Right. When I die I want you to be on the lookout for a stray dog hanging around your house.”

“You plan on coming back as a stray dog?”

“Yes and when you see this stray dog I want you to take it into your home.”

“Wait. What colour will this dog be?”

“I have no idea, black maybe?”

“OK, so when you die I need to be looking for a stray, possibly black, dog hanging around my house?”

“Yes and you will take me into the house and look after me. Feed me, love me, make me a part of the family. Don’t leave me outside. I want to be an inside dog.”

“Mum, I need you to take what I say next in the kindest, gentlest way possible.”

“What’s that?”

“You’re fucking crazy.”

“Don’t swear at your mother!”

“You’re right, sorry about that. If you are going to be an inside dog we have to set some ground rules right now. Rule number one: there is no eating out of the garbage. Rule number two: there is no sleeping on the couch or beds. Rule number three: If you shit on the floor I will make you an outside dog.”

“I promise not to shit on the floor.”

“Thanks. Love you Mum.”

“Love you  too.”



Meet Anita

I am a wife to a retired Army Captain and present day shepherd, a mother to two Big's (20 & 19) and one Little (6) and new to running at the age of 42. I am hopelessly addicted to Starbucks Peppermint Mocha's. My family thinks I am crazy. The voices in my head say they may be right.

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